Hello hello everyone! Long time no see! Can you believe it’s already 2021?
2020. What a year. Everything I thought wouldn’t happen… happened. Everything I thought would happen… didn’t happen. But because of this year, I learned to appreciate the little things more. I learned to let go and just let. things. happen. You made it through this year, lovely. You are breathing. You are alive. I am so proud of you.
2021 a big year for me. It is my last year of school (I transferred to public school from homeschool last year for those of you who didn’t already know), I’m back to theatre (if all things work out), and then I’ve got to do the scary thing called ‘figure-out-what-I-want-to-do-after-school’. And hopefully this year I’ll get a job. And drive more. What is your year looking like? Do you have new year resolutions? No new year resolutions?
Anyway, this post has nothing to do with the fact that I’ll be in grade 12. *screams*
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts going around saying things like, ‘2020 2.0’ or it’s going to be a worse year, or all of your problems are not going to go away with the new year, nothing’s going to change, and all that.
I’m not going to disagree with the statement that all of our problems are not going to change just because the clock struck twelve on December 31st.
But just because our circumstances don’t change, doesn’t mean we don’t have to. Don’t ever let circumstances stunt your growth.
And you know what? This earth doesn’t matter. Our hope shouldn’t rely on the wish that 2021 will be a better year. Our hope relies on Jesus. Our hope relies on his promise that when he returns he will create a whole new world filled the most unimaginable peace, joy and love. No tears. No suffering. No pain.
I’ve seen a thing going around where people choose their word for the year. Words like ‘diligent’, ‘dedicated’, ‘kind’, ‘free’.
My word is ‘growth.’
I love this word because it’s so broad, and for me, growing, or going up, is the only way I want to go. A quote from K.M Weiland’s historical fantasy book ‘Wayfarer’ which I am currently reading and highly recommend says, ‘There exist two ways to move in this world: up or down. One cannot remain still. A man who refuses to climb is a man with no self-regard whatsoever.’
I want to grow in Christ, grow in who I am as a person, grow in faith, in kindness, in love. And something that I’ve always struggled with is comparing myself to other people and always caring what they think about me. Well I’m gonna grow in God’s direction. Not the direction of the girl I used to wish I was like. Not the direction that my classmates tell me I should go. Not the direction the whole wide world says I should go. God’s direction. His opinion of me is the only opinion that matters.
Another quote from ‘Wayfarer’ says, ‘Care too much for the praise of a man, and I can give you my oath you’ll be disappointed every time.’ I can relate so much. I’ve cared what I look like, I’ve tried to change the way I act around certain people to try and fit my idea of what they want to see or someone they would want to be around. But why try to hard to change myself to be liked by people when I can just be myself and be loved by the right people?
This post is more meant for myself than it is for any of you. Sure, you can take inspiration from this but this is for me. I have spent way too much wasted time wishing I could grow, instead of actually putting in the work to make myself grow. I wanted things, but I didn’t want to do the things I had to do to get there.
Anyway, I went on a bit of tangent, but you’ll find I do that a lot on this blog so if you don’t like that then you don’t have to stay. 😉
And that’s me being real and vulnerable and all my thoughts on a page. XD
This is my journey. I’ll stumble along the way most definitely. But the only thing that matters is if my eye is kept on the direction that Jesus wants me to go.
That’s my post for today! Thank you for reading!